So, I sit here in the common area, the only place with Wi-Fi, sipping my 16 oz can of Sierra Nevada Torpedo IPA ( which is kind of lame by the way), entering my first post. What can I say, it's five hours into the trip and I can only describe my feelings so far as being confused.
I'm going to see Papa tomorrow in what is turning out to be a clandestine appearance. Only Ann knew I was coming. I've since let the cat out of the bag to my two siblings. But, what of it.
What I know is that I'm slowly drinking the night away in an effort to forget what i'm heading into and perhaps get some sleep. I'm optimistic it works, although I'm a bit more realistic that it won't.
I sat at home last night debating the merits of what I'm trying to do. And as I sit here 24 hours later, and less than 12 hours to go, I'm still doing the same. At the end of the day though, I have to keep going. The problem, however, is still why.
Look, at the mostly simple, it just a chance to see Doug. But, it's not that simple. Why? Because I feel like i have to make up a story just to do that. Isn't it entirely lame that I'm not telling anyone I'm here? In a place where my grandma and aunt/uncle live, I'm renting a motel room/? It certainly seems like it. But, this is the only way it's going to get done.
Three grand children have gone to see him so far, to my knowledge. And the common theme has been that each visit has been "short". Well, screw that. I'm not here to say good-bye, I'm here to say hello. I'm here to check up on him and chat for a while. He's not dead, you know. And if I'm in Florida, warming myself, why the hell wouldn't I sit and chat with him.
What I know is that I'm slowly drinking the night away in an effort to forget what i'm heading into and perhaps get some sleep. I'm optimistic it works, although I'm a bit more realistic that it won't.
I sat at home last night debating the merits of what I'm trying to do. And as I sit here 24 hours later, and less than 12 hours to go, I'm still doing the same. At the end of the day though, I have to keep going. The problem, however, is still why.
Look, at the mostly simple, it just a chance to see Doug. But, it's not that simple. Why? Because I feel like i have to make up a story just to do that. Isn't it entirely lame that I'm not telling anyone I'm here? In a place where my grandma and aunt/uncle live, I'm renting a motel room/? It certainly seems like it. But, this is the only way it's going to get done.
Three grand children have gone to see him so far, to my knowledge. And the common theme has been that each visit has been "short". Well, screw that. I'm not here to say good-bye, I'm here to say hello. I'm here to check up on him and chat for a while. He's not dead, you know. And if I'm in Florida, warming myself, why the hell wouldn't I sit and chat with him.
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