Sorry, I was too busy You Tube surfing last night to write a post. I was too taken with various classic rockers versions of Hendrix's Hey Joe. But, you know what, it was another one of those days that was fairly normal and without any great thoughts to share. Today, though, is the day it all ends because tomorrow will be back to a house of four.
Now that Ann has returned from visiting her Danish heritage, where does that leave us? Well, back to normal would be the obvious answer. But something finally hit me today. Throughout Ann's trip abroad, something's been itching at me. I couldn't place it and instead mostly focused on how this time alone with the kids was not the harsh disaster that we'd like to stereotype it as. We all continued to get up, get on with our day, talk and laugh, and go to bed. Rinse and repeat. And all without drama.
It was after a text Ann sent last night about some things that needed to be in place for Evan's first day at Discovery Club this summer that things started to click. Honestly, it was a helpful reminder, but while she didn't want to offend and joked that she couldn't turn off her mom gene, there was that small sense (in a complete unoffended way) of not needing that assist. Nothing more came of it until this morning as I was driving away after having gotten Evan off to DC without incident. I was like, wait I know this feeling, there's something oddly familiar about this. That it's, I've done this before! With that, it all came together.
That oddly familiar feeling? I haven't had it for two years, but it was the feeling of being part of the daily routine. I had been doing it for ten years prior, whether it was getting kids ready, dropping them off, picking them up or helping with homework. It was everyday though. And then nothing. And so, I had this sudden realization of why this past 10 days had been comfortable. I like being part of that routine. It may not sound like a big deal, but the idea of getting up, going to work and coming home, all without any interaction with everyone else's day is either something that's either so new that I'm still getting used to it, or it's just not the roll I want to play. I think after two years of this new routine, I'm going with the latter.
Admittedly there's been a feeling of disconnect for a while now, but why I didn't think of having the opportunity to reverse that going into this trip, I'm not sure. As typical, I'm a little slow on the uptick. Guess we'll see if we can somehow keep this going through the summer.
Let's not go too far with all this though. It was only today when I happened to glance at the mailbox, with the mail door slightly ajar that I realized I hadn't checked the mail in ten days. Or that I only put away clothes that Ann left hanging to dry just yesterday. I can't tell you how many things are still sitting around that I wan't to sweep away into their proper place before Ann got back. I felt like I could never get ahead of the cleaning and picking up. Look, I don't want all of it, I just want some of it. As my family knows well, I'm big on being even, everyone with their equal share. I start to twitch if it's otherwise.
And so with that as my big realization, I'm glad to have Ann back. It's been fun and busy, yet an uneventful ten days. Likely not as interesting as Ann's travels through Iceland and Denmark. And if you're wondering, because I am, I'm sort of surprised I had no fits of jealously over her doing her thing without me. Sure, I would have loved to have been there, but I was OK with not. Anyway, we've got Ireland and Scotland coming our way in a month. Or maybe I was just too subconsciously taken with revisiting that lost sense of involvement at home.
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